They say that misery loves company.
Have you noticed this being played out in real life?
I have, but probably not in the way you are imagining…
So here’s the thing. I’m all for being honest with friends, family and you, my readers. I want you to know that I’m a real person, that my life is made up of real stuff and hopefully, my realness will help you connect with me. I also know the value of having people in my life who I can share my burdens with free of judgment or criticism. But here is the problem. For most of us, this is where the buck stops. We unload all our “reality” onto others who’s reality looks similar to ours, and call this transparency and authenticity.
But is it really?
In all of this “real talk,” where do our efforts for honesty end and the search for acceptance begin?
As women, we love to go deep. We love to share our stories and find others who will say “me too!” as we reveal our hopes and dreams, but especially, our fears, failures and frustrations.
Ok, let me interject an important point here before I totally lose you. I am 100% not saying we should be fake, hide our feelings or only be superficial in our conversation. And I’m definitely not saying you shouldn’t find support in others.
I’m for honesty. I’m for being real with others. I’m for transparency amidst messy situations. I respect people who are able to share the bad with the good. And I certainly appreciate those who are in my life who are willing to listen to this realness.
However, I’m concerned with a current trend (especially on blogs and social media), where we all get together and share the grit in our lives but fail to challenge each other to turn that grit into something great.
We can’t just sit around, mutually accepting each other without also inspiring one another.
Why? Because if we rely on others to accept us and our situations, no questions asked, then we are working off the assumption that the messes in our lives hold no value in and of themselves, unless they are validated and accepted by others in similar situations.
My messes have value, just like my success. Know why? Because they are all part of my story. I will be honest about my life and transparent about the good and the bad, but I will share those details with the knowledge and confidence that what I’m experiencing has value even if you can’t relate. Even if you don’t approve. Even if you don’t accept me.
When I hit a rough patch, I don’t go to my friends who are in similar situations. I seek out people who are a few steps ahead of me. I seek out people who have shared with me what they have been in similar situations (honesty), but have pushed through and allowed it to transform them and take them to the next level (inspiration).
Here at His Girl Friday, I want to be honest with you. But I also want this to be a place of inspiration for you. I post things that I hope will inspire and encourage you. I don’t post yummy recipes and fun family activities to shame you if you aren’t doing them because I don’t have the power to shame you. YOU have that power. I’m here, doing what I do because I have struggled with needing affirmation and acceptance in the past, and I’m done with all that drama. I’m pursuing better things, and I hope you’ll join me.
We are great at coming together and sharing our woes and patting each other on the back. But let’s not stop there. Let’s start inspiring each other. Let’s surround ourselves not just when we are down and need some companionship, but also to rally ourselves to be better. be bold. be amazing.
Who’s with me???