I Want You to Know

Sometimes God’s power is shown as much in preventing things as it is in making them happen.
-Lysa TerKeurst

I want you to know my life isn’t perfect.

I know I talk about the great food I make and the fun things I do with my kids and how much I love my husband, but seriously. My life is a typical life. Just like yours. It has your typical amount of good things in it. A few mediocre things scattered about. And of course, your usual amount of terrible, awful things.

I want you to know how drastically different my life has turned out than I expected. And that can be hard sometimes.

But I’ve learned over time, that when I let God interrupt my life, I end up with a happiness and contentment that my own plans never could have produced.

I want you to know, though, that what has really changed over time wasn’t my circumstances. It was me.

I want you to know that I’ve spent a large portion of my adult life frustrated with God. Disappointed with him. I couldn’t understand how things could be so hard if he loved me like he said he did. I spent a lot of time crying out to him, saying “Why aren’t you making my life easier? Why do bad things still happen? Don’t you know how much I love you???”

I want you to know that I was wrong.

The thing that has changed my perspective on life, was not God showing up and making everything perfect, it was God showing up and revealing how much he loved me through it all. It never mattered how much I loved him or not, which, turns out I’m actually thankful for. I’m human just like you and my love can be a fickle thing. No, what mattered and remained constant was his love for me.

I want you to know that being human is hard. That life can be is crummy sometimes. That is the nature of being human. But if we focus on what is hard, or what isn’t going our way, or worse – start to compare our difficult things to other people’s good things – then we just end up miserable.

I want you to know that the hard things you face are really, really hard. But they aren’t the point. 

I don’t need you to know a list of things that are difficult for me right now. It doesn’t really matter. What’s hard for me is easy for you, and what’s hard for you is easy for me.

C’est la vie.

I want you to know that there is a bigger picture.

For me, my “big picture” is the job I’m supposed to do right now. I’m supposed to be a stay at home mom. I don’t know why. It doesn’t really make all that much sense to me. But there it is.

I want you to know that it’s not always easy, and that I have hard days too.

There was a time when I viewed this period of my life as a means to my all. Meaning, I thought I just needed to do this thing now to get back to what I was really supposed to be doing with my life.

I want you to know that no matter how disappointing/frustrating/confusing your life is right now, it’s not a means to your all…it’s part of it.

That means you are are exactly where you are supposed to be. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m not in a holding pattern. I’m not biding time until I can go “back to work.” This is my all.

I want you to know that this mindset changed my life, without my life actually changing. I now view each day a something I need to make the best of. I ask myself how I can use my gifts, talents and unique perspective to live as fully as possible, even if I’m doing something differently than expected. It means that I don’t view myself as just a stay at home mom who takes care of her kids. I’m also free to reach out to others. To fill my home with good food, great friends, and lot and lots of love. I’m free to be me and explore the things I love and that matter to me. That is my job right now. That is my calling. That is my big picture.

I want you to know that knowing this doesn’t guarantee perfection. It doesn’t guarantee happiness. It does change the way you look at life, though. I’m starting to realize that when God interrupts my life or changes my plans, that it’s not something he is doing to me, but something he wants to do with me. Someone much wiser than me said that God’s interruptions are really invitations. Will you accept?

I want you to know that I’m just here, doing the best I can to accept the invitation to live my life as fully as possible. To redeem the time with my kids. To love others. To enjoy life. I’m here not to make money or have a career, because even those are just part of our plan, not the plan. I’m here to build a life as the human God made me to be.

I want you to know that you are too.

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