Things No One Told Me About Having Kids (Especially Little Boys)

You will do allll the things you once mocked, laughed at, and said you would never do before you had children.

You will discover it is much harder than you originally thought…

…but better than you could have ever imagined.

You will find yourself in moments of such exhaustion, frustration, and yes – even despair – that it will make you wonder if you are cut out for this job…

…but then suddenly the moment will pass and you will discover reserves of strength, patience, and creativity that you never knew you possessed.

Everyone who said you “just become” a morning person out of necessity once you have children? Yea, those people were wrong. #morningsarehard

You will worry about a lot of things with your first child. You will worry less with the second. You won’t have enough brain capacity left to worry by time you get to the third.

Little boys are disgusting. Not as babies…as toddlers. They put boogers on everything. Evvvvverrrrything.

Children don’t necessailry make you happy, they are too difficult and too much work for outright happiness. But they bring you something better. Pure, unadulterated JOY.

Your kid’s laughter, sense of wonder, and pleasure in the simple things will not only refresh you, it will bring your life a much needed relief from the oh-so-serious, practicality driven, hum-drum reality of adult life.

Your kids’ naiveté and imagination is a gift – Embrace it. Encourage it. Let it carry you away in the moment.

The saying, “The days are long but the years are short” is truer than you can possibly imagine.

Potty training is from the devil and you will not be able to do it in three days, no matter what Pinterest says.

By and large, other people are far less annoyed with your kids than you would imagine, so just chill out. It’s ok to take them out in public and have them behave like, well, children. That’s what they are and that’s what they do. Just go with it.

They don’t always need your undivided attention…

…but don’t forget to say “yes” to the little things that speak volumes: read stories together, lay in bed with them, join them in their pillow fort.

Kids really are the best of the best and the worst of the worst. Don’t try to figure this out. You never will.

Kids don’t need much to be happy. They pretty much just need you.

The best laid plans will be ruined by bad attitudes and tantrums (from both of you), but spontaneity and just living in the moment can yield the most fun-filled experiences and memories of your life.

Little boys never stop moving and will break everything you own.

Having kids doesn’t have to change you in all the bad ways you worry about before you begin having children, but it will change you, that’s just inevitable. You get to decide if having kids changes you for the better or worse. It’s a choice, just like anything else.

You don’t have to stop being “you” just because you become a parent. In fact, your kids need you to be you. They don’t need you to be a nanny or a doctor or carnival act, they need you to be the truest, fullest version of yourself. So keep doing the things you love, keep pursuing your passions, and continue to invest in relationships that fill you up and make your heart sing.

Mommy guilt is real, but you don’t have to give it power over you. Do your best. Make your peace with your worst. It will all be ok.

You will be forced to make a million decisions each day that feel life-or-death, but trust me, they usually aren’t. You might remember the mistakes you’ve made along the way, but no one else will (including your kids). So just chill out and and enjoy your kids.

You will get so many thoughts and opinions on everything related to child bearing and rearing. Learn early on that these “helpful” suggestions aren’t a reflection of you being an inept and clueless parent, but the result of people really not understanding just how annoying they are. You don’t have to listen to everyone else’s opinion.

You will be tempted at every turn to use everyone else’s choices as a measuring stick to judge and gauge your own choices.  Don’t. Do. It. Others make decisions based on what works for them, and you will make decisions based on what works for you. You will be miserable and make everyone around you miserable if you constantly weigh your choices against those of others. You do your life, and let others do theirs.

Be willing to get down and silly with your kids. That means more to them than anything. And plus it’s just so stinkin fun.

Boys start talking about wieners, bodily functions, and other grossness from the moment they learn to talk.

The number one thing no one tells you about kids is that at some point, somewhere between pregnancy and sending your child off to college, your child will face something that you never saw coming. A challenge. A difficulty. This will cause you to call into question your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual ability to parent your child; don’t buy this lie for one second. Because, you see, the other thing that no one tells you about having kids? The kids you have – either through birth or through adoption – are yours for a reason. You are exactly who they need, through the good times and the bad. Never let bad seasons make you feel like you are ill equipped, not good enough, or unable to be who your kid(s) need you to be. I’m not sure why we keep this a secret. We should be shouting this from the rooftops.

So I’ll say it today – mommas, you are enough. You’re doing a good job.

 

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