Five Things

1.  The thing about breastfeeding a newborn is that it’s exhausting. Which means you are constantly falling asleep every free second you have. Which, for me, means I’m constantly waking up and having my “morning coffee” over and over again. It’s like Groundhogs day, but without Bill Murray and a lot more crying. 

2. Fact: Your postpartum body is a lot like your early pregnancy body, just one bump is adorable and the other is, umm, less adorable.

3. I know we are all tired and just trying to keep our heads above water here, but I am bound and determined to bake sugar cookies at some point before the new year. Christmas cut out cookies are one of my all time favorite things. Like there is my family, coffee, and then a close third is cut outs. And on some days, depending on my kid’s behavior, the ranking looks a little more like, coffee, cookies, then family.

4. Something wonderful and unexpected has happened! After I had both the boys my hair fell out is horrible, huge clumps that made me cry my eyes out because it’s bad enough to deal with all the other postpartum stuff, let alone trying to feel “beautiful” with your hair in your hands. I was all braced for round three of hair loss and yet…nothing! Bea will be one whole month on Saturday so I’m hoping this is for real. Maybe it’s the difference between carrying boys versus carrying girls? I have now clue. If you know the answer, do tell!

5. We attended Theo’s Christmas program at preschool yesterday. All five of us! There were plenty of times where I felt like quite the freak show; Oliver was acting like a maniac, the space was over crowded so we were constantly running into people with Bea’s carrier or while we tried to chase a child, and at one point Oliver was covered in blue frosting. But oh, my Theo. This week has been one of the hardest I’ve faced in a long, long time with the kids, but yesterday was balm for my tired momma soul.IMG_8590

I loved it more than I can say to see my baby boy up there, totally not singing, but waving to us with the biggest grin on his face. He kept calling for his brother, “Over!” And though he might not listen to me…like at all, he was such a great kid for his teachers and that was amazing to see. And then Oliver broke the homemade ornament that Theo made (using his fingerprints to paint snowmen. Sobbbbb), and it was back to feeling those old familiar feelings of defeat.

But then I look at that picture at the top of this post, of Theo grinning from ear to ear because he caught sight of me and immediately yelled, “mommy!” and waved, and a little lump rises in my throat.

It’s all good, it really is. I just really, really need a cup of coffee. And a nap. And a massage….

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