Beatrice is officially one month old today, and I just can’t believe it. I feel like I literally just had her two seconds ago. I know, I know. Everyone says that. But still.
This is my second draft of this post. The first was rambling and nearly incoherent. Yesterday was a busy day with the boys, and I was up all night with Bea who had a hard time nursing and even harder time getting settled for some reason. So my writing abilities are a tad bit hampered at the moment. So I’m just going to keep this “review” simple, starting with this photo that pretty much sums up what it feels like to now be a family of five:
This is from the other night. Bea is on her activity mat. Theo is reading. Daddy and Oliver are on the couch sleeping. I’m on the chair, blogging and taking it all in.
How does it feel now that we are five?
It feels wild and crazy. It feels like a handful and yet totally doable. It feels totally new and yet almost the same. It feels hard yet good. It feels like someone always needs something, and yet the needs are all simple ones – a sippy cup of milk here, a diaper change there. It feels like a home full of people, and yes, also stuff. It feels like late night feedings with Bea and early morning snuggles with Oliver. It feels like big brothers who love their little sister. It feels like a daddy asleep on the couch with one of his babies. It feels like an oldest son who shows his tender side with his sister, and his rambunctious side with his little brother. It feels like sleeplessness and staying in our jammies all day. It feels like a house never quite clean. It feels like family and friends who gather round to help with meals and words of encouragement. It feels like rushing to get to preschool and staying home at night. It’s hearing Theo say “Beatrice” and Oliver say “baby seeester” and feeling my heart go soft. It feels like gratitude. It feels like love. It feels like hope, and joy.
It feels like home.