I read this book once that talked about foreboding joy. It’s the phenomena that occurs when, in the midst of a good experience, you start to feel fear/anxiety over the inevitable end of the good thing instead of just staying present and enjoying it for what it is, for however long it lasts.
Summer has been good to us, and I’m trying to stay in the moment and not think about how summer will turn to fall, and summer-break will end and Mike will return to a job he doesn’t love, and we will all end up returning to schedules that are fine, but more “eh” than “ah!”.
It’s fine. It’s fine.
I know the reality we are living in right now isn’t really…real. But I want it to be. I want my husband to be home with us, doing something he loves. I want to have a little space and free time to write, blog, and do yoga. And I want it to be warm. Oh, how I always want it to be sunny and warm.
Life lately has felt so life-giving. Isn’t it funny how rare a thing that can be?
I read recently that we hold our breath on average 80-90 times a day. We take our breath for granted. We assume that because we need it, our bodies will just do it and supply all that we need.
But like most things in life, we have to be very intentional about supplying ourselves with the necessities: breath, sleep, relaxation, fun.
I read the book Essentialism, by Greg McKeown, recently. In it, he describes the importance of paring down your life to the essentials because, like your money, if you don’t define what you want to spend your time on, then the rest of the world has a way of swooping in and defining it for you. Friends, family, co-workers, clubs, etc; everyone else will tell you what they think should be essential in your life.
I guess the question is, will we let them?
In looking over our past few weeks of summer break, I’m sure it might look like from the outside in that we have filled up our schedule, but the reality is that we’ve done quite the opposite. We’ve scaled back. We’ve said no to a host of responsibilities and requests so we can purse some things that are essential to us.
It is with those essential things that we have filled out days. And it has been good. So. Good.
Because really, the essential things of life, support life. They breath fresh energy into us. It’s all the extra stuff that drains us.
So for now, I choose to stay rooted in this new reality. This reality of saying no to this and that, so I can say yes to the rest.
Will we be able to continue this? I don’t know.
But for now, we can. So in the now, we stay.