This week has been difficult for my family, as we unexpectedly lost my grandmother. I apologize for failing to post yesterday, but my heart wasn’t in it.
All things considered, yesterday was a good day. We gathered together to mourn a loss, but to also remind each other that we are not moving forward alone; we have each other.
Throughout this past week, I’ve had so many thoughts. So. Many. Thoughts.
So today, my Thursday Things I Love will look just slightly different because, well, I’m slightly different. I hope you enjoy.
I had plans to do Standing Up Paddle Board (SUP) yoga on Sunday, and almost canceled my plans when grandma passed. Between her death, my dread of putting on a swimsuit, and my fear of looking like a complete idiot on the board (I’d never done SUP before, let alone SUP yoga), I wasn’t sure I should/could/would follow through.
But I went.
In the wake of grandma’s death, it felt like the absolutely most appropriate thing to do. To try something new. To say yes to an experience for the sake of an experience. To not letting fear or insecurity – especially something as silly as my body issues – keep me from living a full life. To not worrying about the outcome, or if I would be good at what I was attempting, but just enjoying whatever happened.
I’m so glad I did.
The day was beautiful. The paddle boarding was so much fun. And the water soothed all the wild chatter in my brain. I was with a friend who didn’t push conversation, but just let the experience speak for itself. I laughed a couple times, but also enjoyed some companionable silence.
It was really good.
bath time with Beatrice
The 21st of the month happened to fall on this week. Beatrice was born on the 21st of November. I believe in both celebration and rituals, so we take a monthly bath together with lots of herbs or homemade bubble bath and celebrate being girls, being together, and all the squishy, adorable goodness that she has brought into our life. This week, it felt extra special to perform this little ritual. Our herbal bath held extra meaning, as it acknowledged and celebrated new life. Life can be hard, and it often contains difficult things. It can also be beautiful, and contains more blessings than we can possibly imagine. Beatrice is one of those beautiful blessings, for me. So this week, I took extra care picking out some pretty dried flowers and herbs for the bath. I held her extra close. I took extra pleasure in seeing her smile and splash and be her glorious little self. I soaked up life in all it’s beauty.
And that was really good.
After the services for my grandmother, my aunt and uncle invited the family over to their home for the rest of the evening. Over the past few years, the grandchildren have started having kids of their own, and suddenly, their are babies and children in the family again.
That night, as the older kids played volleyball while the younger kids ran around with squirt guns, there was a newness in the air.
Starting the day off with a funeral and ending it watching your children catch fireflies will make a person think.
It made me think about the natural ebb and flow of life. It made me think about endings and beginnings. And it made me think about kids, and their magical ability to breath fresh life into almost any situation.
They are what’s next.
We carry those we’ve lost in our hearts, even as we turn our eyes to the future.
And the future, will be good.