This may come as a surprise. Or, maybe not. But either way, here it is: I love being a mom. I love being a stay-at-home-mom. I need to say those things. I need to be honest with myself and with others, about those things.
Shauna Niequist said that “one of the ways we grow up is by declaring what we love.”
That struck a chord with me.
There are so many parts of me that I sort and parcel off and bring out at very calculated times. This combination of things I love for this person, this combination of things I love for that person.
The result is that I never fully present myself to anyone. That I become a dissected version of myself.
And the truth is, I’ve been holding back. I’ve been saying that I do this and I do that and, oh yes – I’m also a mom. When the reality is, at the top of the list of things I love is being a mom. Right below it: being a stay-at-home-mom.
It’s been hard for me to say those words. I have all these amazing friends with really amazing jobs. They travel. They dress up. They meet interesting people and do interesting things. They earn a paycheck and contribute financially to their household. They accomplish things.
I recently told my husband that it can be kind of humiliating that there are some days where the only thing I “accomplish” is a load of laundry. I’m smart. I’m capable. I CAN DO THINGS. I want to do things.
And so it has felt a little embarrassing to admit that I like what I’m doing. It seems so simple and basic and stupid at times. I mean, most days I’m cooking meals and changing diapers. I’m not exactly discovering Newton’s third law.
If I’m truly honest, I’ve felt a little ashamed at times at this current gig. It seems like I should be doing more. I’ve kept things “on the side” just so I could say, “Oh, but I also do this!”
This Thursday, though, in lieu of my normal list of Thursday Things I Love, I just want to say one thing: I love being a mom.
I love staying home with my kids. I love that my job description is to simply create a life. It is startling in it’s simplicity. It’s pureness. It’s joy.
That is all.