I’ve been thinking about jealousy lately. I’ve been thinking about how jealousy isn’t usually the real problem. The real problem is insecurity. Jealousy is just our response to the problem.
And I’ve been thinking about how it all starts with comparison. We compare. We feel we don’t measure up. So we get jealous.
It’s an age old problem that I believe we all face in some form or another, because we all have insecurities.
But what if we could change all that?
If jealousy is a response, then wouldn’t it follow that there are other, better responses out there when we feel tempted to play the comparison game?
I think, yes.
I’ve made a commitment to myself that has really transformed how I view others (and therefore, myself). It’s changing my response to those feelings that creep up when I begin to compare myself to someone else. And it all started…with someone’s abs.
Go ahead. Admit it. You’re curious. 😉
So I was is this hot power vinyassa flow class and it was so crazy hot that sweat was dripping – and I mean dripping – off all of us before it even started. (And yes, I LOVE that like I love coffee. Heat = me happy).
Anyways, there was a fellow mom of three in the class who had her shirt off, wearing just her yoga pants and sports bra. She looked so gloriously unhindered by that extra layer and I desperately wanted to rip my tank off too…but…her abs…HER ABS!
THEY WERE A THING OF BEAUTY AND I CANNOT COMPARE. I AM NOT WORTHY.
All class, I kept looking over at her. At her confidence. At her unencumbered-ness. At that glorious midsection.
There was no way I was going to take my tank off. Although I’m fit and strong and back to pre-pregnancy jean size, I – much like a tree – have those lovely rings around my midsection. But unlike a tree, my rings don’t reveal my age, just that I’ve had three babies. What ev. It’s fine. But in that moment, and for days after, I kept….COMPARING.
I kept wishing my body could look a certain way. I kept wishing that I had that other mom’s confidence.
And then it dawned on me, like a lightening bolt from up above.
I could waste my ever-loving-life on comparisons that lead to feeling insecure and jealous, OR, I could straight up feel the inspiration that radiates off of the women in my life.
Both are options. Both are real.
We can only choose one.
I’m tired of letting insecurities lead to jealousy that gets me absolutely nowhere. Instead, I’m ready to embrace the inspiration that is literally EVERYWHERE I LOOK.
I have such an incredible group of women in my life and THEY ARE GOOD AT EVERYTHING THEY DO. It’s incredibly annoying. I mean, inspiring (wink).
I’ve made the commitment to myself to capture those feelings of comparison and turn them into inspiration before they ever take hold and blossom into jealousy.
Honestly, it’s easier than you think. You just have to decide to do it.
So from this moment forward, I choose to be inspired by those who look in ways that I aspire to look, who lead lives that I aspire to lead, and who experience things I aspire to experience.
Whether I see you on Instagram or in person, I’m turning your awesomeness into first class inspiration for my life. Let’s not only aspire to feel happy for the good things in the lives of those around us, but take it one step further, and allow all the good things to inspire our own life. Because really, why not?
So here is just a little shout out to some of the incredible women in my life. Thank you for inspiring me in all the ways you do. I can only hope to be such a source of light and encouragement to you, too.
Rhiannon, your artistry and love for life inspires me. And your smile. It simultaneously melts me and motivates me. I could go on and one, because you ARE so many things, and that – my sweet sister – is an inspiration.
Jordan, your strength inspires me. Your perseverance, inspires me. Your gentle spirit and dedicated heart, inspires me.
Natalie, your understanding of food, nature, and life completely blows me away and leaves me inspired for days.
Tiffany, your ability to turn dirt into a beautiful field of flowers, and then turn those beautiful flowers into even MORE BEAUTIFUL bouquets and arrangements simply astounds me. Your talent and appreciation of the physical world inspires me.
Holly, your generosity INSPIRES ME. But so too does your style, your perspective, and your heart.
Jana, the way you sacrificially love your people inspires me. And your reading list. #goals
Ashley, you took the plunge and added baby number four with an open heart and mind and your bravery and excitement inspires me.
Chrissy, you are grace in motion, and you inspire me. Your yoga inspires me. Your quest to learn and grow and understand inspires me. And THE WAY YOU LOOK IN YOGA PANTS IS AN INSPIRATION TO US ALL.
Jenna, your experiences and fresh take on life and growth and becoming inspires me.
Katie, your heart – oh your heart!- inspires me.
Sara, your love of adventure and learning and your always growing book pile inspires me. The way you mother, inspires me. The way you view life, inspires me.
Sheila, your kindness and goodness inspires me. The way you grow our friendship and seek to know me and love me not only humbles me, it inspires me in ways I don’t quite have words to express.
and last but certainly not least:
Sheri, thank you for the gift of your awesome midsection. For your confidence. And for inspiring me to feel comfortable in my own skin. I ripped off my sweat-soaked tank top the other night in another HPVF class and used it to wipe my dripping brow and life never felt better. Or freer.
And that, my friends, is what inspiration does for us. It lifts us all up. It sets us all free.