This Saturday is our 12th wedding anniversary.
It’s a good number.
I wanted to do something a little different by way of simultaneously having fun and honoring the milestone, so I asked my brother and sister-in-law to come up with 12 questions to ask us. I’m so glad I did. The following is our (almost) completely unfiltered responses to 12 great questions about 12 great years of marriage.
1. Have you ever met someone on a blind date, them married them? (This question, I’m told, comes curtesy of my little bro. I’m dying.)
Rebekah – Ummm. Yup. One time!
Mike – I did it once.
2. What is your spouses favorite movie and do you like it?
Rebekah – My favorite movie is The Royal Tannenbaums. Have you even seen that movie?
Mike – Yea. Wes Anderson isn’t necessarily my style.
Rebekah – But it did make for a good Halloween costume!
Rebekah – I know your favorite movie – The Shakiest Gun In The West! And yes. I love it. And so does Theo and I think that’s adorable. I also love watching that movie and thinking about six year old Mike laughing at the same parts that six year old Theo laughs at. You guys are twins.
3. What is something your spouse does not like about them self, but that you wholeheartedly love about them?
Rebekah – I know you aren’t super confident in the kitchen, which makes every time that you cook for us so incredibly special. It’s such an act of love. I loved it when you cooked for me for Mothers’ Day. That salmon was so good.
Mike – I’m confident in the kitchen right now!
Rebekah – Well yeah, that’s because you are building it, not cooking in it, haha.
Mike – I know you get frustrated with yourself that you think so differently and can’t stop thinking about things from all angles, but it’s also the thing that continues to move us forward in every aspect of our life together.
4. If your spouse was an animal….
Mike – Oh boy….I don’t know! You would be a….
Rebekah – (laughing, because Mike is the worst at these kinds of questions. This should be good…)
Mike – I hate questions like this! I’m so literal. I can’t think like that. I don’t know the only things that comes to mind is an owl.
Rebekah – An OWL?
Mike – I don’t know. You’re intelligent.
Rebekah – (laughing) anyways….You would be a beaver. Beavers are known for their work. But also, I feel like they are kind of sweet and oblivious. I bet they hum while they work.
Mike – Ok ok. You would be a lioness. You are relational, a caretaker, and feisty. That’s my answer.
5. When did you know you were in love?
Mike – At the walking path.
Rebekah – On our FIRST DATE?
Mike – yeah.
Rebekah – How did you know?
Mike- you were just way too easy to talk to. We had such a connection. I felt like after hanging out with you for just a few hours I had known you for a long time.
Rebekah – So you felt like you knew me but also LOVED me?
Mike – It was more than just knowing you. I fell in love with who you were.
Rebekah – That’s really sweet babe. I feel like I loved you that first night too, but I didn’t admit it to myself until our date to Putt-In-Bay. I remember walking into town, because we didn’t want to pay for a golf cart, and just feeling so comfortable with you. That was it. I knew it.
6. What is your favorite thing your spouse does for you that is child related? Non child related?
Mike – Child related, I would say any time you do something thoughtful and intentional with them – whether its sitting down to read with them or when you speak truth to them, when you schedule play dates – I know it’s all intentional for them and it’s cool to see since I never saw that growing up.
Something you do for me? Well if you did something every now and then maybe I could think of it. (we both laugh) You do all kinds of things for me. You are always looking for ways to help me in ways that I would literally never think to ask for help. You just take care of so many things.
Rebekah – What do you mean? Like what?
Mike – Well you take care of a lot of day to day things but that’s not necessarily what I mean. Like the mowing of the yard thing. I put a lot on my shoulders and sometimes you see it getting heavy and you try and jump in and help out.
Rebekah – The thing you do for our kids that means the most to me is how you involve them in doing things. You rarely just do things for them and have them watch, you always include them in some way. So often I just want to take care of things myself because I want it done quickly and without a mess, but you are always willing to involve the kids and turn things into teachable moments. And as a result, I’ve seen our kids do completely amazing things that I never thought they’d be capable of, simply because you gave them the chance. And that is such a gift. For them and for me.
One of the things you do for me that means the most is working your tail off so I can stay home with our kids. You work harder than any person I know, just so that I can be home with our kids – feeding them and teaching them and taking them on adventures – and honestly, I don’t appreciate that nearly as much as I should. It means so much that this is even an option, let alone our reality.
7. Do you remember what you did on your second date.
Rebekah – Gahhhhh. (Insert face in palms)
Mike – I don’t remember our second date. What was it.
Rebekah – Wasn’t it when you made me play sand volleyball and it was a totally horrible and scaring experience for me?
Mike – Noooo. Our second date was when I came over to your house and met your parents and we had dinner out on the patio.
Rebekah – Oh YEAH. And you had to apologize for keeping me out until 3 am?
Mike – Yup.
8. Do you ever get embarrassed in front of your spouse? Explain.
Rebekah – Yes. All the time. I get embarrassed incredibly easy.
Mike – Yeah you do.
Rebekah – Do you get embarrassed in front of me? I can’t imagine.
Mike – Sure.
Rebekah – Like when you farted at family camp?
Mike – That wasn’t embarrassing, that was hilarious. No, like anytime I feel like we’ve been wronged and it turns out I sighed the papers that agreed to the terms I’m upset about. That sort of thing. Like when we tried to buy that Jeep and I tried to play tough and I told the guy I’d only give him $3,500 for it and he was just like, “Yeah….That’s what I’m asking for.”
Rebekah – That was hilarious. Oh babe. I get embarrassed about similar stuff though. I want you to think I’m smart. It embarrasses me when a song comes on the radio and I name the band but I’m totally wrong. You are always right about that sort of thing.
9. Did you two have any dreams or expectations about married life? Which have been fulfilled? Have they changed?
Rebekah – I really didn’t have a ton of expectations. I just wanted to be married to you.
Mike – Whatever dreams or expectations I had have all been exceeded. Everything I expected was based on the examples around me at the time, which unknowingly set the bar pretty low. But that is not to say that it was easy to have a good marriage. The effort we’ve put into our marriage has really paid off. Especially these last few years, because we have three kids now and three jobs and a home renovation. We would have crumbled under all this in the beginning. But we grew a foundation that we continue to build to this day. We are doing all these things while continuing to always try and be better. We aren’t putting our relationship on hold to do these other things.
Rebekah – I like how you said that.
Mike – Of course you do. I’m on a roll!
Rebekah – (laugh and an eye roll). We got married so young. We’ve always just figured things out as we go. I think the thing that matters the most is that we’ve dreamt big about our life, but our marriage was DECIDED. Being with you is what mattered. There wasn’t something I was hoping to get out of it. You were the goal. Life with you was what I wanted. I achieved that on July 29, 2005. Everything else has just been a bonus.
10. How do you manage when your desire levels are different?
Mike – We go to sleep.
Rebekah – Well, we at least lay there and pretend to be asleep, but I can feel your frustrated-ness radiating off of you, lol.
Mike – Sometimes.
11. Where do you feel most content at in your married life now?
Mike – We have such a crazy high level of trust. I never wonder where you are at, I never feel like your lying to me or that we aren’t on the same page about things.
Rebekah – I never thought about that, but I agree. There is so much that I don’t DOUBT. That is hugely comforting.
12. Who would you cast to play your spouse in a movie?
Rebekah – I’ve always thought you look like Clark Gable. But he’s dead. So maybe I should pick someone else….
Mike – Ummmm. Probably the girl from Parks and Rec.
Rebekah – Amy Poehler??? Why?!
Mike – She can pull off your sarcasm and your wit. You have similar hair.
Rebekah – NO WE DON’T!
Mike – Doesn’t she have blonde curly hair?
Rebekah – It’s BLONDE! Lol, but that’s where the similarities end. Oh babe.
Ok. For you…Maybe Matt Damon. He can be so serious, but also kinda nerdy and funny. Yeah. Matt Damon for sure. Can you picture a film with Matt Damon and Amy Poehler?
Mike – (Laughs) I could. It would be goofy.
I’m really tired. I’m going to bed.
Rebekah – lol. Ok. Night babe.