Exactly Where You Are Supposed To Be

I was having a bad day. It was mostly self inflicted, as bad days (I’m learning) usually are, when I received a card from a friend. She, like me, is in a season of transition. A season of new baby meets old life meets figuring out expectations we didn’t know we had meets trying to figure it all out. (What does it all MEAN, we ask, and what should we DO about it?)

In her card she wrote:

transition = tumult

Yes. Yes that is it exactly. Continue reading “Exactly Where You Are Supposed To Be”

The Source of Bad Days

Being a parent is way harder than I ever expected. I don’t know what I expected, exactly, but it wasn’t this.

I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to learn what I needed/need to know.

All I knew, at the time, was that Edward and Bella were in love and about to have a baby and ohmygosh I’M IN LOVE and I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY! (Yes, I was reading Twilight when I was pregnant with my first. I have no regrets about this fact.)

Continue reading “The Source of Bad Days”

The Beautiful And The Brutal

In recent days, we’ve experienced the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. The most beautiful of beautiful that life has to offer, and the absolute most brutal of brutal.

And really, I’m sure you have too.

Whether it is in listening to the news or listening to a friend share her heart, the beautiful and the brutal seem to never be too far apart. They coexist on the same plane. Life never seems to be all roses, but truly, nor is it ever all thorns. Continue reading “The Beautiful And The Brutal”

On Anxiety

I’ve struggled with anxiety for the past few years. Ironically the more clearly I could hear the gentle whispers of God telling who he made me to be, the stronger I felt the pressure of other people’s expectations.

More often than not, anxiety is breed in the fertile ground between who we feel and know we are, and who people say we should be.

The space that says, you are not enough. You should be more. You should do more. You should do differently. You are too different. You are not worthy. You do not belong. You are unwanted. You are unsuccessful. You will never measure up.

That space. Continue reading “On Anxiety”

The Fight

Last week, my husband and I had the worst fight we’ve had in a long, loooong time.

It wasn’t over money. Or inlaws. Or how to raise our kids.

It was over tape.

Like, literally, tape.

Long story short, I can only take so much of the mess my family makes in our home and when they start to get into the things that I strategically put away so that they can’t find it but I can, and then lose or destroy said item, I can really blow a gasket. So while my complaint was valid, my approach was not, and what ensued was an epic battle over yes…tape. Continue reading “The Fight”

Thursday Things I Love: SUP Yoga, Celebrating Life, and Family

This week has been difficult for my family, as we unexpectedly lost my grandmother. I apologize for failing to post yesterday, but my heart wasn’t in it.

All things considered, yesterday was a good day. We gathered together to mourn a loss, but to also remind each other that we are not moving forward alone; we have each other.

Throughout this past week, I’ve had so many thoughts. So. Many. Thoughts.

So today, my Thursday Things I Love will look just slightly different because, well, I’m slightly different. I hope you enjoy. Continue reading “Thursday Things I Love: SUP Yoga, Celebrating Life, and Family”

Messes and Tantrums: Theirs and Mine

This morning, I woke up to a mess.

The boys helped themselves to breakfast (peanut butter crackers and OJ) before I was even up, but in the process, had obliterated my kitchen floor and breakfast nook table. There were crumbs everywhere. Something wet was all over the table and dripping onto the floor. Cracker wrappers, that looked like they had been clawed apart, were scattered on top of the sticky and wet surfaces. And my notebook, where I had been working on next week’s menu, was on one of the benches and completely soaked.

I took one look at the boys, another look at the mess, and immediately went over to the counter to start making coffee. Continue reading “Messes and Tantrums: Theirs and Mine”

Thursday Things I love: Family Hikes, Amateur Haircuts, & Cake

This quote:

 quote2

I’ve wasted a lot of time banging on doors that I was never meant to walk through. Over the past year or so, I’ve become better at not only identifying which doors aren’t for me, but then also, letting those doors go. I’ve stared at a lot of shut doors, knowing that they weren’t for me, but obsessing over why they are shut. I’m over all that. If I don’t need it/want it, then I’m also going to let it go and walk away from it. No more worrying about why closed doors are closed. It’s time to start walking through open ones. Ya feel me? Continue reading “Thursday Things I love: Family Hikes, Amateur Haircuts, & Cake”