To Theo, On Your Fifth Birthday

Last week, you were in the front passenger seat with me as we  waited in the preschool drop off line. It was raining. As we do each day, I held your hand and squeezed it tight and said, “Be kind. Be you. Love Jesus.”

You gave me a hug and a kiss on the lips and said, “I will. You be kind. Be yourself. Love Jesus.”

And then your teacher was at the car door, and with all the confidence in the world you threw a “Bye mommy! Love you!” over your shoulder without a final glance, opened your froggy umbrella and stepped out into the rain.

As I watched you walking away, so little yet so self assured, with your backpack hanging haphazardly and your froggy umbrella a bright beacon on the gray, Ohio day, I felt a sob creep up in my throat.

It was unexpected, and I couldn’t quite catch it before it was out. My heart was full of love and pride but my eyes were full of tears.

Oh how far we’ve come, my love.

It’s only been five years. Five years! But in that time, so much has changed.

No one has taught me more about love, patience, forgiveness and adventure than you, my dear boy.

No one.

I’ve struggled against “motherhood” so much in these five years. I’ve struggled against you. I’ve fought against all the things I didn’t want to suddenly be associated with just because I was now “a mom.” I fought against your will which is as iron clad as my own. I fought against my perceived lack of freedom. I fought against all the things you’ve required of me, that I wasn’t prepared to give.  Continue reading “To Theo, On Your Fifth Birthday”

Flannel Sheets, Pregnancy Cravings, and Crocheted Baby Items

These Sheets

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Now that we have both our boys in twin beds, we needed to up our sheet game (we go through a looooot of sheets). I found some fun flannel sheets when I went shopping and I couldn’t resist buying a set for each of the boys. I have such fond memories of hopping in a very cozy, flannel-sheeted bed on a chilly evening when I was growing up. Plus, who can resist a good moose or plaid print? (Not me.) Continue reading “Flannel Sheets, Pregnancy Cravings, and Crocheted Baby Items”

Summer Walks, Picnics, and Creek Exploration

In all things of nature, there is something of the marvelous.  -Aristotle

We got a late start to our summer here in Northeastern Ohio. Our winter was long and followed by an eternal spring. When “summer” finally arrived, it was rainy and chilly. Booooo. But the months of July and August have been hot and glorious and contained all the good summery feels.

Today, my husband (a teacher) welcomes in a new year of students just as most schools are reconvening for the year. And though it may feel like summer is waning, the boys and I are holding on to her with everything we’ve got. We’ve been soaking up every last bit of sunshine, leisurely strolls, playtime in the creek, and of course – picnics! Continue reading “Summer Walks, Picnics, and Creek Exploration”