Discovering Daily Rhythms vs Daily Schedules

Lately, we’ve really hit our stride with homeschooling. Actually, I feel like I’ve hit my stride a bit more as a mom in general, too. That is not to say things are easier or that the kids have stopped being kids or that I’ve suddenly stumbled upon the secret to making motherhood a snap. Really, it’s all boiled down to two things: perspective, and finding a good fit for my own personal brand of motherhood.

I’ve been in this whole momming gig for almost seven years now and I’ve been homeschooling for a little over a year. I can honestly say I’ve never felt “good” at either one. It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed it, I’ve just always felt this tension between all the things I thought/wanted and all the things that were actually happening.

You are given a lot of advice as a mom. I’m starting to realize that good advice is only good advice if its good for you.

Case in point: scheduling. Continue reading “Discovering Daily Rhythms vs Daily Schedules”

How To Create A Capsule Wardrobe Like A Mother

Below is a post I wrote almost a year ago exactly. I’m reposting it because a) it’s that time of year when I start to once again reassess my wardrobe to see what stays and what goes and b) I’ve had some renewed interest and questions from readers.

As I was re-reading the post, I was excited to see that this past capsule wardrobe has been not only successful in terms of giving me clothes that I love to wear, works for my lifestyle, and fits well, but also, this capsule has really freed me from my clothes. I find that I love my clothes for what they are – no more, no less. No more drama over what to wear. No more feeling like I constantly need to add more just because I stumble upon a good deal or see a trend I like. Honestly, I think about clothes so much less and the freeing feeling that this capsule has left me with can only be described as something akin to coming home after a long day, letting your hair down, taking your bra off, and sitting on the sofa in a pair of pants without a waistband.

That kind of freeing.

But there has also been this other result from my capsule that I didn’t expect – when I buy clothes that I genuinely like and that fit well, I choose, like, really awesome stuff. If you saw last week’s post about Four Things I Can’t Stop Wearing, then you saw a few pieces that I purchased recently that are just crazy beautiful/cool/functional/fun. All the words. I’m just appreciating my clothing so much more, mostly because I’m choosing better.

And that’s really what it’s all about, anyway. Better, more deliberate choices.

So anyways. Here is the post about how I created a capsule wardrobe that really, honestly works for me. I’m still using this same one. I’m stilling rocking my “uniform.” I still have some purging and letting go to do. But It’s becoming more and more second nature. Oh, and Bea is still in our closet and I still love it and I’m still using the stand alone wardrobe as my “closet” and I love that too. (Link for that is below). It’s all good.

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So I know I’ve talked about creating a capsule wardrobe in the past, but things have taken a serious and exciting turn in the wardrobe department. Namely, I gave up my glorious, walk-in closet with the built in shoe rack and shelves to house something much more precious than clothing – my little girl.

So my closet is now Bea’s room, which meant it was time to get down to business on this whole capsule wardrobe thing. In the past, I would just pack up whatever didn’t make it into the current season’s capsule and store it in my closet. That, is no longer an option. Not to mention the fact that I was starting to feel physically oppressed by the shear volume of stuff. I had all these things that were still in great shape but belonged to a different me who did different things. A me that no longer exists. Their daily presence in my life just stressed me out. It was time to go. Continue reading “How To Create A Capsule Wardrobe Like A Mother”

Thursday Things I Love: Being A Mom

This may come as a surprise. Or, maybe not. But either way, here it is: I love being a mom. I love being a stay-at-home-mom. I need to say those things. I need to be honest with myself and with others, about those things.

Shauna Niequist said that “one of the ways we grow up is by declaring what we love.”

That struck a chord with me.

There are so many parts of me that I sort and parcel off and bring out at very calculated times. This combination of things I love for this person, this combination of things I love for that person.

The result is that I never fully present myself to anyone. That I become a dissected version of myself.

And the truth is, I’ve been holding back. I’ve been saying that I do this and I do that and, oh yes – I’m also a mom. When the reality is, at the top of the list of things I love is being a mom. Right below it: being a stay-at-home-mom. Continue reading “Thursday Things I Love: Being A Mom”

I Don’t Want it All: My Frustration With the Work-Life Balance Debate

…glibly repeating “you can have it all” is simply airbrushing reality.

-Anne-Marie Slaughter

 A little back story on this post: two weeks ago, I heard this amazing interview with Anne-Marie Slaughter. Slaughter is this power-house of a woman. Amongst other things, she “is an academic, foreign policy analyst, and public commentator. She served as Director of Policy Planning for the U.S. State Department from January 2009 until February 2011 under U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. She is an international lawyer and political scientist who has taught at the University of Chicago and Harvard University.” source

And, Slaughter is also a mom. Continue reading “I Don’t Want it All: My Frustration With the Work-Life Balance Debate”

The One Where I Mention Pizza and Puking in the Same Post

Theo was sick today. Like throwing up every half hour, green to the gills, barely able to move kind of sick. It was certainly a shock for all our systems to see my normally wild and rambunctious little boy lying listless on the couch all day.

I’ve heard people say that you are “in the trenches” when you have a toddler and a baby. Oliver might be 18 months old, but I think we still fall squarely into that category. While Theo spent the day with a stomach bug, Oliver spent his day fussing and crying because he has been on a non-stop teething spree for the past few months. And then the pharmacy where I was supposed to have Theo’s nausea meds filled never received the script it from the doctor’s office. There was an hour of my life, gone forever, trying to track down what happened to it after my doctor’s office was already closed for the day. (Whatever, I’m over it.) Continue reading “The One Where I Mention Pizza and Puking in the Same Post”

Motherhood: On Being All In

Yesterday was the kind of day that makes me just feel all warm and squishy on the inside as a momma. And trust me, those days aren’t as common as you might think. I so enjoy being a momma, but it’s easy to get caught up in the doing and not so much the enjoying. And, motherhood has a way of taking you away from certain things, so if you aren’t careful, you can feel like you are missing out. One of my favorite mom’s to follow on IG wrote this post recently:

I am discovering that you can lay down the things you really really want and still find contentment within; the two do not have to be so connected. Desire should not equal dissatisfaction. Because life is meant to be fully experienced — not fought agains, run from, perfectly planned, or walked in half-heartedly. Be all in. – The Gray Gang

Continue reading “Motherhood: On Being All In”

Your Kids & Your Job Are Not Your Purpose (And Other Life Lessons Learned From Play Dough)

I read a lot. As I read, nothing makes me happier than when I read two separate thoughts from two separate works from two totally different people and something just clicks. It’s that moment when everything comes together and your mind just goes from casually interested to totally blown. I had one of those moments recently when I read the following two quotes:

“Homemaking is not something that stands in the way of our deeper fulfillment; it becomes the ground that feeds it.”
-Shannon Hayes, Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture

“Let me make a distinction between career and creativity. Creativity is connected to your passion, that light inside you that drives you. That joy that comes when you do something you love. That small voice that tells you, ‘I like this. Do this again. You are good at it. Keep going.’ That is the juicy stuff that lubricates our lives and helps us feel less alone in the world…Career is different. Career is the stringing together of opportunities and jobs. Mix in public opinion and past regrets. Add a dash of future panic and a whole lot of financial uncertainty. Career is something that fools you into thinking you are in control and then takes pleasure in reminding you that you aren’t. Career is the thing that will not fill you up and never make you truly whole. Depending on your career is like eating cake for breakfast and wondering why you start crying an hour later.
-Amy Poehler, Yes Please

I’ve come to the conclusion that most of us have a seriously dysfunctional view of purpose, careers and motherhood. We view these three very unique things as one. Then, when purpose starts pulling at motherhood and motherhood starts pulling at career and we try to find purpose in our career and try to make a career out of motherhood, wow, do things get messy. And complicated. And confusing. And dissatisfying. And we just end up eating cake for breakfast and crying an hour later.

Or to use a visual analogy, it’s like my son’s recent play dough/leggo man creation. He can say that he mashed some stuff together to make it “one,” but we all know it’s just two totally separate toys that are crammed together, totally incongruous and dysfunctional. Continue reading “Your Kids & Your Job Are Not Your Purpose (And Other Life Lessons Learned From Play Dough)”

What You Really Need to Know About Stay At Home Moms

This year, I made the transition to full time stay at home mom (SAHM), with the exception of the yoga I teach locally two nights a week. Although it has been a long journey to get to this point, I now find myself in a position where I really enjoy what I do. I’m happy where I’m at and doing what I’m doing. Which quite frankly, has come as a bit of a shock.

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Continue reading “What You Really Need to Know About Stay At Home Moms”